Mourning the loss – It’s not a choice anymore
Up until this point, my lifestyle and diet changes were all a choice. They helped me feel better and I chose to do them long term so I could continue feeling ‘normal’ after a couple years of decline. But now it wasn’t a choice. I was told to read a book by Izabella Wentz called Hashimoto's Protocol. Within the first 3 pages I felt so validated about how I was feeling. It seemed as though the book could have been written about me it was so spot on. But it was on page 20 she discussed when she finally got a diagnosis. Having just gotten the same diagnosis, the words resonated deeply. She encourages mourning the loss. Sounds odd but it made perfect sense. Yes, I finally had answers! But now I needed time to mourn the loss of how I was able to live up until this point in life. Everything was about to change and it was no longer a choice but something I had to do to just feel ‘normal’. Everything from the time of day I was eating to the products I used in my home were going to be questioned and changed. Although all these changes are positive, and now I would never go back, it felt like everything was changing without choice. So, I allowed myself 1 week to sulk in the feeling of not being in control of all these changes that were about to come. After that, I dug in. I had to make the choice to look at everything in my daily life and ask ‘Does this help or hinder my Thyroid health?’ It was shocking how many times a day I realized I was using things or eating things that were not helping me and even worse, hindering my Thyroid. It was unbelievably overwhelming to realize I needed to throw out all of my skincare, cleaning products, foods, stop drinking tap water… and on and on.
This is when my Functional Nutritionist put me on to my new favorite website. Environmental Working Group I Check all of my products through this page! Slowly, I began to weed out the things in my daily life that did not serve me and switched them out for items with the lowest toxic level I could get my hands on. That is a whole other blog post though. In the meantime there are links on my homepage to the brands and people I trust!
All of these changes had me wondering though. Where did my Hashimotos come from, and why now? What made it flare up so suddenly and intensely? I started to research and asked my Nutritionist what she knew. She told me about "The three legged stool" of Hashimoto’s. The link provided is a great resource answering a lot of questions about it better than I can. But the short of it is, Hashimotos will flair up when 3 things all fall into place. 1. You were gifted the genes, 2. You have a leaky gut (most americans do unfortunately), and 3. There was a tigger such as stress, poor gut health, and viruses.
It is nobody’s fault, but I spent a better part of a year wishing I had known I had the genes so I could have prevented my Hashimoto’s from flaring up. But I kept on researching anywhere I could and asking questions to anyone who would listen until I found that it can be put into remission! Take away one of the three legs on the Hashimoto’s stool and it can no longer stand on its own.
This became my motivation. Remission.
